Doocci » D-360 Breaking News http://doocci.com Me: He's so anal about money that his a$$hole can produce diamond. The production is imminent. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:24:39 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Don’t Listen to That Bitch. Sell the Worthless Euro. http://doocci.com/2011/11/09/dont-listen-to-that-bitch-sell-the-worthless-euro/ http://doocci.com/2011/11/09/dont-listen-to-that-bitch-sell-the-worthless-euro/#comments Wed, 09 Nov 2011 22:06:23 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/?p=2849 Italy:  How come no one pays attention to us? We can’t let Greece steal all the thunder.

Greece:  Hahahaha…  See how we control the world markets now?  We fart and everybody listens.

Italy:  Damn!  We are bigger and we have Pope for heaven’s sake.  Greece is nothing.  They kick out their prime minister and we’ll kick ours out too.

World Markets:  WTH!!!  What’s Italy doing?  What should we do?  Maybe we should wait.

Italy:  Shit!  No reaction at all.  I’ll give you pathetic peasants something to jump up and down.  Listen!  OUR BOND IS WORTHLESS.

World Markets:  OMG!!!   Euro is garbage.  Euro is worse than shit.  Sell everything!!!

Italy:  Hahahaha…  Now who’s in charge?!?!  Greece my ass.

Germany’s Markel:  People, do not panic.  Walk.  Do not run.  It is time for a breakthrough to a new Europe.

World Markets:  Don’t listen to that bitch.  Sell the worthless euro.  Sell while you can.

]]> http://doocci.com/2011/11/09/dont-listen-to-that-bitch-sell-the-worthless-euro/feed/ 0 What Causes Headaches http://doocci.com/2009/07/04/what-causes-headaches/ http://doocci.com/2009/07/04/what-causes-headaches/#comments Sun, 05 Jul 2009 03:21:44 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/2009/07/04/what-causes-headaches/ Stress.  A cold or flu.  How about beating a dead horse?

]]> http://doocci.com/2009/07/04/what-causes-headaches/feed/ 3 California Is Doomed http://doocci.com/2009/06/10/california-is-doomed/ http://doocci.com/2009/06/10/california-is-doomed/#comments Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:49:35 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/2009/06/10/california-is-doomed/ This is sad news.  California has no money.  Arnold is selling prisons to get money.  I am just devastated.

]]> http://doocci.com/2009/06/10/california-is-doomed/feed/ 1 Susan Boyle Got a Concert Deal? http://doocci.com/2009/04/27/susan-boyle-got-a-concert-deal/ http://doocci.com/2009/04/27/susan-boyle-got-a-concert-deal/#comments Tue, 28 Apr 2009 07:10:12 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/2009/04/27/susan-boyle-got-a-concert-deal/ She certainly can sing.  Besides, someone already gave her a total make over.  A world concert tour is the most logical next step.

]]> http://doocci.com/2009/04/27/susan-boyle-got-a-concert-deal/feed/ 1 Chocolate Shall Be Eaten Today, All Day. http://doocci.com/2009/04/09/chocolate-shall-be-eaten-today-all-day/ http://doocci.com/2009/04/09/chocolate-shall-be-eaten-today-all-day/#comments Fri, 10 Apr 2009 06:52:44 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/2009/04/09/chocolate-shall-be-eaten-today-all-day/ Easter means FOOD and CANDY to me.  And lots of them!

]]> http://doocci.com/2009/04/09/chocolate-shall-be-eaten-today-all-day/feed/ 5 Scrabble Hates Me http://doocci.com/2009/03/19/scrabble-hates-me/ http://doocci.com/2009/03/19/scrabble-hates-me/#comments Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:38:46 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/2009/03/19/scrabble-hates-me/ My mom told me to study hard and learn to spell 30 some years ago.  First, I was like WTH, and then I was like WHF.  Then it dawned on me that she was just telling me a joke after all, so I LOL, LMAO, and LAH (laughed at her.)

]]> http://doocci.com/2009/03/19/scrabble-hates-me/feed/ 1 For Once, I Agree with a Republican. Only Once. http://doocci.com/2009/03/18/for-once-i-agree-with-a-republican-only-once/ http://doocci.com/2009/03/18/for-once-i-agree-with-a-republican-only-once/#comments Thu, 19 Mar 2009 06:01:40 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/2009/03/18/for-once-i-agree-with-a-republican-only-once/ Overheard the conversations (in my head).

In AIG:

“Can I get a raise?  I did have a big part in driving the company nearly bankrupt, you know!!!”

“Nah, that takes too long to earn the money if I give you a raise.  How about a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR bonus?  You have direct deposit, don’t you?  The money can be yours tomorrow.”

In our world:

“Can I get a raise?”

“Are you out of your #$#%$$# mind?  Did you know how tough the market is right now?  You should be down on all fours thanking me you still have a job.  Now, go get me a cup of coffee, 2 creams, 1 Splenda.  Chop!  Chop!”

]]> http://doocci.com/2009/03/18/for-once-i-agree-with-a-republican-only-once/feed/ 4 See You in July, Says Michael Jackson http://doocci.com/2009/03/14/see-you-in-july-says-michael-jackson/ http://doocci.com/2009/03/14/see-you-in-july-says-michael-jackson/#comments Sat, 14 Mar 2009 22:04:30 +0000 Carl http://doocci.com/2009/03/14/see-you-in-july-says-michael-jackson/ That’s right.  “I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear,” Jackson said in an announcement at London’s O2 Arena.

And that news tops our breaking news at this hour:

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