Do you have a friend whose life is totally on Facebook?  When you go to your Facebook to find out whether your friends have shittier lives than yours so that you can feel much better about yourself, but you can’t because there is always this one person or two whose posts totally occupy your wall.  Every 5 minutes, they have an update.  So you really want to block them because you don’t give a #$%$#.

Is rice free?  -  a few seconds ago.

I pooped.  It was puce.  Maybe I have cancer.  -  2 minutes ago.

I hate my life.  I cut off the crotches of his pants.  -  5 minutes ago.

I love my life.  Life is fabulous.  He is my garlic shrimp.  -  10 minutes ago.

I had garlic shrimp for breakfast.  I am stuffed.  I need a nap urgently.  -  11 minutes ago.

I am starving.  What’s for breakfast?  -  15 minutes ago.

etc… etc… and etc…