It’s a great feeling of having 200 channels of nothing to watch on TV.  However, it is even more exciting and getting ready to pee your pants when finding the show, the only show, you ever wanted to watch.  It’s a moment of triumph.  I certainly enjoyed the few seconds of glory when I found The Show – Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend, a.k.a., Paris Hilton’s BBF!!!!!

12 brave and ingenious British contestants were fighting and scratching each other’s eyes out to become Paris’ BBF!  Just as Paris repeatedly emphasized on the show, “I can only have one true BBF.”

Each week, Paris gave them a challenge to fight for their lives.  In one challenge, these brave souls had to work with animal poop because Paris loved animals.  I thought it was the best challenge ever because poop could really show a person’s true personality.  Poop could tell us who was genuine and who was fake.

After the challenge, these brave souls get to gossip to death.  I thought the show climaxed when one girl said to the other, “You look ugly and awful when you don’t wear make-up.”  I thought the advice was so genuine and touching, but the girl without the make-up was totally pissed.  How rude!

Then the talented contestants got to meet with the Princess Paris herself for more gossip.  Paris called it a serious discussion.  This is the moment they have been waiting for in their lives.  Meeting with the Goddess of their dreams and being able to shred each other in pieces in front of the royal HER is far more thrilling than winning a 100-million-dollar lottery.  I AM SO JEALOUS.

After the bloodbath, Paris picked two people up for elimination.  She emphasized again how important it was for her to have only one true BBF.  Indeed.  Hey, we all know how the British are.  They talk too much.  Only one true BBF is enough.  With much sadness and reluctance, Princess Paris asked each contestant which one of the two people she chose should go.  Each one of them had yet another chance to really tear someone apart and spit on the person.  OMG!!!  Why was I not chosen for the show?!?!

Finally, the moment has come!!!  Paris emphasized again how she could only have one true BBF.  She announced who the loser was and said to the loser, “TTYN!  Talk to You Never!”  Then, the loser was sent away and would never be seen ever again.

Thank you so much, Direct TV!

TTYN!  It’s the phrase I will always treasure in my heart.