Overheard many many times at home when I was a child…

Me:  Grandma!  I just can’t see it.  Where is it?

Grandma:  It’s right in front you.

Me:  Where?  Where?

Grandma:  It’s right in front you.  What’s wrong with your eyes?  Shit’s covering your eyes so you can’t see?

Me:  AAARRRHHH!!!  Oh, I see it.  Hahahaha…  It’s right before me.

I always felt embarrassed, but still, the language she used.  What a rude woman!