After much agony and little ecstasy, the unauthorized Oprah’s Book Club has finally announced the books of the month of April, 2009: “Ecstasy is only a hoofbeat away.”  I didn’t know horses could be THIS MAGICAL.  ”First Shocking Printing.”  Hell, indeed.  HeRRooo!  I have been going to the “toy store” since I was 15 21 and [...]

Dumas:  According to our database, I noticed that your home listing expired recently. Me World Peace:  Recently?  It expired 6 months ago. Dumas:  Yes, indeed.  May I ask you what your plan is right now in terms of selling the house?  Spring is the best time… World Peace:  We have decided to stay.  We have [...]

Master:  Can you get a t-shirt for me? Slave:   Sure. Slave rushed to the closet and picked out one of Master’s favorite t-shirts.  Slave hurried back to Master and handed the t-shirt over to Master humbly and cautiously. Master:  Thanks. Slave went back to the closet to tidy up. Master:  Can you get me [...]

Dear Joseph and Mary, Will I get cancer if I don’t poop everyday?  Do you think I should just take laxatives every day and get it over with so I can stop worrying?  Thank you for not making me constipated.  Good night. It all started when Mary I needed a laxative.  She I hates it, [...]

And I want to make lots and lots of babies!!!  And world peace, of course. Get the Flash Player to see this content.