Me:  HeRRo.  Mom?  This is your son.

Mother:  Hello?  Hellooo?  Who is this?  Why are you not speaking?

Me:  HeRRo?  It’s your son.

Mother:  Hi, how are you?  What happened?  Why didn’t you say anything?

Me:  I did.  It had to be the internet connection.  I am testing this thing called, Skype.  For ten bucks a month, I can call you any time I want and we can talk as long as we want.

Mother:  HELLOOOOOO!!!  WOO HOOO!!!!

Me:  HeRRo?  Can you hear me?

Mother:  HELLO?  Is this a joke?  Are you there?

Me:  Shit!  This is terrible.

Mother:  What shit?  What’s terrible?  What’s wrong with your phone?  Can you hear me?

Me:  Yes.  I can hear you fine.  LOUD AND CLEAR.  Did you hear what I said about Skype?

Mother:  No.  Anyway, I have breaking news for you.

Me:  OMG!!!  You are not pregnant, are you?

Mother:  Hahahahaha… How can you say this to your mother?  So, your cousin, Linda, got a call last night.  It was about her father-in-law.  He passed away.

Me:  Oh, no.

Mother:  HELLOOOOO?  WOO HOOOOO?  HEY, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Me:  YEEEEEEEEES!!!  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!  AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Mother:  Stop screaming!!!

Me:  I thought you couldn’t hear me.

Mother:  What kind of phone are you using?  It’s terrible.  Let me finish the story fast before I lose you again.  So, her father-in-law went to a wedding reception last night.  On his way home, after he got off the bus, he took the short cut by walking through the park to get home.  He tripped over some piece of metal, fell on a fallen cable; it was rainy and wet, and he was shocked to death instantly.

Me:  OMG!!!  That’s tragic.

Mother:  WOO HOOOO!!!  CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Me:  YEEEEEEEEEEES!!!  AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!  WWWEEEEEE!!!!  AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Mother:  I CAN’T HEAR YOU.  GET RID OF YOUR NEW PHONE.  BYE!!!