Q:  The only thing that keeps me going are my children and the way my wife looks in jeans.

Me:  For me, it’s the next episodes of Project Runway and Shear Genius.

Q:  LOL…  I’m in love with Jacklyn Smith still and I don’t care if she’s 200.  I still want her.

Me:  That woman did not change one bit.

Q:  I would have to leave my wife for her.  She would cause me to go on a diet.

Me:  Your poor little wife.

Q:  So I was complementing my wife on how she inspired me.  I said, “You inspired me so much.  I want to show you tonight.”  She said in frustration, “It all comes back to that, doesn’t it?  I’m not some trophy wife.”