Continued from Please take off all your clothes before you poop…

Dear Pat, 

…  They talk on the cell phones in the stalls.  Or they talk to each other in such loud volume when they are in the various stalls.  If they don’t talk, they moan in the stalls.  Can you believe it?  One guy in particular was the most grotesque.  He moaned loudly and sounded like he was having sextuplets.  Some other guy constantly left the ESPN magazine he read at the sink after he pooped.  WHY???  Who the hell wanted to touch the magazine he already used when he had “the huge production?” 
 
I tried very hard not to go during the day unless it was absolutely necessary.  I think some kind of bizarre cancer will grow in my body pretty soon.

Originally appeared on mildlyhotpeppers.com