We ask our family, friends, and co-works the same question many times a day every day, “How are you?”  And we, without hesitation, reply how great we are doing as soon as we hear the question.  Let’s all share the fabulous moments together, shall we?

I turned to the Finance section on Yahoo.com.  The market dropped over 200 points, or close to 2%.  This is fantastic.  We all love a down market and watch our 401k and IRA bleed to nothing.  I am doing great because I can’t wait to live on Ramen noodles and home grown cabbages and tomatoes.

Dentists are such rip offs nowadays.  Every time we go for our regular cleaning visits, they complain about our teeth.  They are not white enough, not straight enough, too big, too small, too sharp, and so on and so forth.  Don’t worry.  There is hope.  Thanks to China for exporting the poisonous toothpaste for us to enjoy.  What a convenient way to brush our teeth till they all fall off.  No more drilling, no more Novocaine, and no more yellow teeth to look at.  I for one will be very upset if my dear Paris’ teeth turn yellow or brown.  I am doing great because I can’t wait to see my teeth all gone.

Buying a house?  No problem.  Mortgage rates continue to rise despite the fact that the Feds slashed the rate by 1.25% in February.  We should all chip in and help these poor banks get over their crisis.  Besides, President Bush is going to give us $300 of the tax rebate money.  It’s tremendous help with the mortgage payments.  I am doing great because I can’t wait to live under a bridge some day.

But one person is not doing so well in all of this.  That is Bill Gates.  Warren Buffet just snatched the No. 1 billionaire spot away from him.  Poor Bill.  Silly silly water retaining Bill.  He thought he could sit on that spot forever.  He must have been totally devastated.  If I were him, I would certainly go out for a shopping spree such as placing a hostile bid on Yahoo or something like that to heal myself and make myself happy again.  I am doing great because THANK GOD!!!  I AM NEITHER BILL NOR WARREN.  Can you imagine my worries and fears every single minute over the No. 1 billionaire spot stolen away from me?

So, how are you?