I had to call the XXX hospital to make a payment over the phone for Matt because the bill has not been paid by the insurance company of the at fault party from a car accident two months ago.  At 4:45 PM, I called and was put in a queue…

The music was not too bad.  And then, a lady’s voice, from recording, interrupted the music.  Let’s call her Natasha.

Natasha:  Did you know that your account number is right on the billing statement?

Duh!!!  Was she serious?  The music played again.

Natasha:  Did you know that you can pay over the phone or via the mail?

This is not at all what I could ever prepare myself for.  Am I not already on the phone and waiting to give them the money?  The music continued.

Natasha:  Did you know that we printed information on both sides of the billing statement?

No, Natasha.  I did not know.  Both sides?  Shocking.  And then, another woman’s voice, still from recording, interrupted.  Let’s call her Zelda.

Zelda:  We are experiencing extremely high volume of calls.  Please continue to hold.  Thank you.

Natasha:  Did you know that you can now pay by credit or debit card?

Zelda:  We are experiencing extremely high volume of calls.  Please continue to hold.  Thank you.

Natasha:  Did you know that we listed the office hours on your billing statement?

FIONA:  Our office is currently closed.  Our office hours are …  Please call again during our office hours.  Thank you.

Click.