Matt:  “Could you bring me Neosporin?”

I went upstairs, walked into the bathroom in the dark thinking that I knew exactly where it was.  It was in the middle drawer.  I grabbed it, hurried downstairs, and handed it over to Matt TRIUMPHANTLY.

Matt:  “heRRoooo!!!  I don’t have hemroids.  I don’t need Preparation-H.”

Me:  “They both ease the pain and stop swelling, itching and burning, don’t they?”