Dear Matt,

Thank you so much for sharing your questions.  I am sure Hilary can answer your questions on her own.  However,  since you did mention healthcare in your letter, I must say I am appalled that I don’t have any health insurance.  Under this circumstance, I am so stressed out to keep myself clean and lick myself top to bottom every single day.  While you are sitting on your big old couch scratching your you-know-where, you are complaining about my indecency for trying to keep my hiney clean.  If I don’t do this every day, imagine how expensive your medical bills will be when I do get sick.   Be thankful.

Yours,

Her Royal Highness Miss Meow Meow

RE:  Matt’s Questions for Hilary Hedgwig

Dear Hillary,
 
I do hope you are well this evening and have found a safe dry place to stay.  The streets of London are so cold and damp this time of year. 

As you are on my mind, I was in hopes of asking you a few questions about your profession.  Please reply if you can.  Please tell me the best ways to move customers through the queue in the fastest way possible.   How do you balance customer satisfaction with productivity?  If you have a customer taking up your time just looking at the merchandise,  do you go into high pressure mode and physically move in to complete the transaction?
 
At a recent tea party that my dollies and I had,  a very rude teddy bear sat right down and did not drink any tea at all.  He did, however, consume many of the special cup cakes I made without even offering a thank you or leaving a tip.  Do you find that customers like to taste your cup cakes but when it is time to pay they try to run off without giving you any money?

On another subject, how about healthcare?  Do you get regular checkups?  Is there a union or something to help improve your situation?  With your advancing years,  is there any retirement program?  Or do you just keep working until it falls out? 

Could you also fill me in on how much you make on each job?  Do you ask for an up front payment or does everyone pay when the job is done?  Do you have to declare your income and pay Uncle Sam like we do? 

You have always been a good friend and the best Grandmother ever.  Please keep in touch and I’ll see you at Christmas if not before.
 
Love,
Matt